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I’ve known you for a while
but only now have I been struck
by the delicateness of your face

like chinaware
in my mind breaking
under my care; I suppose it’s
because we’ve spoken
and you’ve joked: dry humor, opened
moist lips, live-wire eyes,
and the unexpected delivery
of this feeling

it’s also unwelcome
the way I must be mistaken
with hesitation: two steps forward
one-step back into the same
empty living room
with the fragile taken away

you’re kind
and maybe you’re just that
funny and clever
and the smokes after
savouring your jokes
were mirages – for a bloke
like me who finds it easy
to think kindness is interest
and the heart a collateral

in the desert everything is water
but even if I am not mistaken
suppose the odds were in my favor
such glassy eyes and slender fingers
and subdued glory
still could never be under my care

I know your lot
it is quite close to home
the consecrated alone
the for Him alone
and not for the jagged bones
of a beast like me are boys like you
formed and made

I know you, your kind
and your fidelities
and I wish I could be like you too
but I do not belong
with the fine wares
of teas and games and teasing
and saintly names
nor do I wish to divide
or override affections
like love is a game console
we play to console
those who cannot forget

I must come to terms
and surrender before I think
and be on the brink
of losing what was never mine;
better to know that delicate
chinaware is better behind
glass: viewed at distance
while my own fingers feel
my lips imagining how
it must be to sip from your