Moving some things to the bin. Keeping a few more to myself. I still wish I had done things differently, perhaps with a little more thought rather than just going about actions based on impulse. But I am where I am because I am where I am supposed to be. Why should I be regretful?
I miss the small talk, the kindness, the concern, the jokes. But the damage has been done. It’s time to ask myself for forgiveness at the very least. It’s time to get used to the silence. Maybe one day we’ll speak to each other again. But for now, I am far too ashamed. This is, as I said, my atonement.
Busying oneself with work is a great solution. It also helps in fighting the distractions and desires, defects and disorders. The more you work hard for others, the less time there is for daydreaming and self-pitying.